Hark! What’s this? A blog post?! You thought I’d forgotten you say? You thought I’d been dragged into the steely abyss of abhorrent child preoccupation? Yet, alas! Tis not the case my humble readers (hello Mumsy D!) In fact, there have been an array of reasons including spending every break hauling together an entry for the Student Radio Awards which is FINALLY DONE and I’m moderately content with.
However, the other reason that I only realised t’other eve, was that instead of grappling for tomorrow with a desperate groan in my chest, I’m skipping around it going ‘la la la la la, hello weekend, nice to see you! I’ve had quite a capital time thank you but 2 days off? Oh, go on!’ That’s right guys. I, Chelsea Dickenson, am finally casting in my cynical visage and embracing the fact that camp is really quite fun.
Of course, this week hasn’t been completely smooth. We had a girl with aspergers last week who managed to accuse a camper of sexual assault within 3 hours on the first day- eeeek. I definitely appreciated the challenge of working with a girl who constantly asked me questions such as ‘can I have your eyeballs?’ and ‘can I slap you please?’ (at least she was polite) but I didn’t quite fancy being also accused and seeing my life go down the pan.
Down the pan- what a marvellous phrase. These Americans already get confused when I say ‘just popping off to the loo’ so imagine if I start declaring ‘I’m just off to see a man about his pans’?
Some of the highlights from this week include: young love. A young boy, brought together with a girl through Cray fishing and high fives, was desperate to impress his loved one so collected 30 silly bands (bracelets that turn into shapes when you take them off. The manufacturers were right, they are silly) to swap with his friend for an ornament of a dolphin. The girl was overcome with giggling glee, yet I found out the next day that she’d called it quits. When I asked why, the girls around me replied ‘she dumped him because he was crying about losing a silly band yesterday’. If only they knew! Oh the shattering irony!!
Another high was seeing Emma and I’s ‘Glee Club’ (oh yes, we went there) perform last night in the talent show. They were amazing. However, a small 5-year-old boy stole the show after doing the cutest rendition of Thriller. I actually wanted to steal him by the end of the night.
Also, a major difference from last session is that we appear to have actually made a difference. I received a bounty of thank you cards today with generic ‘you’re awesome’ exclamations yet a couple were doused with lengthy explanations about how their attitude has changed about gossiping (we had a major issue at one point) and how they’ve started to appreciate what they’ve got more. All I can say for that is: wow. I’ve also learnt to appreciate my own Mum and Dad more since being here as kids really don’t understand what’s wrong when you dish out money for a film, pizza, the works and then they whinge about it not being what they wanted. How the Jonna team didn’t slap me silly, I’ll never know for all I wanted to do is go ‘I’LL TAKE MY ANGUS, THONGS AND FULL FRONTAL SNOGGING AND WATCH IT IN MY MOSQUITO BOUDOIR WHILST EATING 16 PIECES OF MASSIVE, GREASY, EXTREMEMLY AMERICAN PIZZA BEFORE VOMMING IT ALL OVER YOU’. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’d have a job by the end of it and I don’t quite fancy being stuck in a field in New York, thank you very much.
So, that’s it, session two is over. I’m popping to New York tomorrow (oh, I do like saying that) to find a Natwest. How absolutely devastatingly crap a reason is that to visit one of the most exciting cities in the world? Yet, I have rent to pay and pay that rent I will. I’m hoping to also catch a show and buy a fusillade of tourist junk to send to my loved ones. My last wish is to accost the naked cowboy and make him put on some clothes, the lairy minx.
I’ll leave you with a quick overview of the past 2 weeks in the best way possible. Ah children, what else can bring such gaiety?
Kids say the funniest things
12-year-old girl: Is Obama your president too?
Girl: I know what a booty call is! It’s when you call over to a boy and shake your bum in his face.
Camper: Did you brush your hair this morning?
Chelsea: No
Camper: You can tell
In a thank you card to Emma and I
‘You have been really nice during the whole week. I will be happy to serve you until Friday’.
I feel like Voldermort.
Girl 1: Should I get the Papa Johns cheese for the table?
Chelsea: The what?
Girl: The Papa Johns!
Girl 2: I think she means Parmesan, Chelsea.
Girl: Did Hilary Duff run for president?
Girl: Did you know that if a polar bear bites you, you turn into snow?
Total bites to date
38.
How silly of I to think I’d become immune to the blighters. One massive bite turned into a ravaging blister that scowled from my leg for 10 days. I told the kids that it was full of an emergency supply of lip-gloss. The things I do for the benefit of these childrens’ education…
Interesting find of the session
I have decided to get all cultured and knowledgeable through reading some top-notch classics and obviously, started with Pride and Prejudice. I was quite getting into it (please note my use of the word capital in this post) when I happened upon (oooh, there’s another classic vocab brag) this line:
“And is this all?” cried Elizabeth. “I expected at least that the pigs were got into the garden, and here is nothing but Lady Catherine and her daughter!”
“La! My dear,” cried Maria.
La? La!!! What’s this? Jane Austen was a closet chav!
This made me so rapturously excited that I slipped into my Lacoste shell suit and did the cha cha slide on top of the monkey bars for all to see. The kids were yelling phrases such as ‘alriggggh ked’ and ‘ger’in ma novaaaa’. What a hoot!
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